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The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.