Still jokes

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Why'd the Titanic sink? Because your mom was still on it!

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

"I'm Still Standing."

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

Are you still a virgin?

If you do IT

With no one?

What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!