Still jokes

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?

Emos, they're still in the air.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

I feel wrong. What does this make us?

Still cousins.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.