How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
