Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
