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Wheelchair

  • My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

  • 1
  • Uncle

  • Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

  • 2
  • Teacher

  • The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

    Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

    Boob

  • What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    "If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

    Family

  • There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

    Ex

  • You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

    Then I start to think I was the problem :(

    Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

  • 4
  • Whale

  • I met a fat chick at the beach.

    People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

    Woman

  • I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

    Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

    Street

  • Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.