Start jokes

It's all fun and games until they start dancing.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

Why did the rapper start a gardening business?

He had mad ROOTS in the game.

How does a rapper start a race?

With a ready, set, FLOW!

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

Student: 69 gay = xxx

Teacher: You're out!!!

Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

😂😂😂😂

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."

"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.

"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."

The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"

The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.