Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started! Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!
What starts with 'M' and ends in 'arrige' and is a mans favourite thing Miscarriage this joke never gets old just like the baby
whats a mans favorite thing that starts with m and ends with arraige
Miscarriage
your forehead so big everytime u shout your forehead starts pulsing
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that your a MILF. My mom said what that I reply Mom I'd Like To Fuck. My mum started out to laugh then she told well new do need a new step dad.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing? ---- Continental Drift
My dad...came over late at night...he was drunk...he started telling me how useless I was...then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times......3 minutes later......he died........now I’m losing mind..and cutting myself....
Blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. The Blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender yells Sir Stop! What are you doing!? The Blind guy say, I'm just looking around.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well.... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Me: Spanish teacher why do we need to learn Spanish? Teacher: because you might go to Mexico and start a job Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dads friend and I would take him home, he just curled up into a ball and started crying, kidnapping must be easy.
People when you lover cheats on you do this!
1. start a conversation 2 say "whats that smell" 3. They will smell around 4. Say omg it's a b**** and walk away and ignore them
When the school shooter starts doing fortnight dances and the autistic kid joins in
Chris started to tell me a joke about nut, but he couldn't finish
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head, the bartender asks him nervously “are you okay” the blind man replies “yeah I’m just looking around”
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games. Suddenly they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running, the other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?". The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
