Start Jokes

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

Why does an orphan start with an "O"?

Because they only see their parents in their dream.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?

Nothing.

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.