Start jokes

What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?

Call 911.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?

The Milky Way.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

Why does an orphan start with an "O"?

Because they only see their parents in their dream.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?

Nothing.

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.