Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games. Suddenly they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running, the other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?". The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when it started RAINING RHYMES
Teacher on school bus everybody sit down now the bus is about to start Ben: I’m not going to sit down I don’t want to, Teacher: you have to or else u have to get off the bus, Teacher: “stands up” Ben: then u should get off the bus cause ur not sitting.
I AM STARTING A FROG CULT NOWWWW
Timmy: stupid motherfucker Jimmy: wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth Timmy: starts crying Jimmy: ah fuck I did it again
Why do orphans start fights?
because they don't get in trouble at home
why did the turtle start flying he was ona jet
I called an orphans house, saying: are your parents home yet? He started crying
Why can’t the anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke? : because every time she sang the line “fire away” some one starting shooting!
My relatives used to tease me at wedding saying I'd be next, they soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
this ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road and she started gaging on it a lil and he said oh yeah baby you like that big dick don't ya and she oh baby its not that, ya asshole stinks
In india whowever live facing road side this is for them Whenever it starts raining heavily our homes turn into pool facing homes cause the roads disappear
I saw a small kid crying so I asked him "where's ur mom" but he started crying so I left the funeral🙂🙂
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave? Then he gets into treble!
