I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
As a hobby I started taking walks around the old clock tower. It's a great way to pass the time.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? MiscaRAGE. That joke never gets old....but neither does the baby...;)
i went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig
she started crying
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you starting at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you 'baby' now~
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist? At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
How does an American know that his time has come? He starts hearing Vietnamese.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights
He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*
yo momma is so stupid she saw an anime and started eating an alive rabbit and thought she would get powers
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying
ME: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O MY FRIEND: what’s that supposed to mean ME: O B C D
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied so I encouraged him to stand up for himself idk why he started crying
Me calling the orphan kid from school: hello are your parents home? The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* STOP CALLING HERE
Your mom is so fat she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D (Obesity)
What is long, hard and has cum in it? CuCUMber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? SiX
I watched a documentary called Redline Carrera: birth of the memes. It all started with Paul Walker.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
