Start jokes

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

What do you call it when school starts in Africa?

Black to school.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.