Start jokes

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

What do you call it when school starts in Africa?

Black to school.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Joke start.

Punchline!

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."