Stand jokes

Why don't butts get along?

Because they can't stand each other's cheek!

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.

Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.

Boy: Exactly!

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.

What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.

What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?

Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.

Does it cycle now?

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

What do the initials POOP stand for?

Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.