Stand jokes
Tork Poettschke & Jack London walk down the street together. One asks the other, "May I stand in the middle?"
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.