Stand Jokes

Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!

What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

Why did the rapper sit on the stool?

Because he had too much FLOW to stand still!

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

Me: But you are not standing:)

What some nasa stand for 🍝🧇🍝🧇🍝

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.

What does the f in orphan stand for- FAMILY😭😭 *ITS DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*

The W in Africa stand for water

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair

Why don’t she stand up for herself

GWEN ARE YOU DEAD?????? IF NOT I AM ALYA THANKS FOR ALWAYS STANDING UP FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them and all you can focus on is that trunk.

What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician on a wheel chair? Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

When that one night stand says she has Aids butyou laugh "I choose D!" She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

I got sent to the principals office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself

Are you a hotdog stand? Causw you make my hotdog stand ;)

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.