Stand

Stand jokes

Anthem

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Cow

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

Face

What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.

What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.

Bomb

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

Memes

Mama

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Lesbian

Lesbian stands for:

L: Loving

E: Extra

S: Shitty

B: Bitches

I: I

A: Am attracted to

N: Nice girls.

Parkinson

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

Dog

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.

Fight

Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?

'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.

Ovation

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

Wheelchair

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

Bullying

Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

Love you-Iariah

Society

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"