Stand jokes
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
The + in LGBTQ+ stands for pedophiles.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!