Stand jokes
πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πͺ πΆ πΆ πΈ πΆ π° π° π° π° π° π°π° π π π π π πβοΈβοΈ π π π³
π¨ π¨ What does the initials GOP stand for?
π¬ Gay man On Penis.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "Iβm getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying β2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!β
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I canβt stand these people. π³π³π³π³π³π³ What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Memes
The hero we needed but didnβt deserve
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both donβt stand for the national anthem.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Lesbian stands for:
L: Loving
E: Extra
S: Shitty
B: Bitches
I: I
A: Am attracted to
N: Nice girls.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What does the PH stand for in "orphan"?
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah