Stand jokes
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.