Stand Jokes

If I was a history teacher I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".

my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand? Breakfast in bed!

Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection

A fake name and fake phone number.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.

I can’t stand disabled Jokes...

Neither can they😂

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.

Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

"Moo!" says the second.

I can tell a joke :`)

Twinkle Twinkle there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end