Stand jokes
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."