Stand jokes
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
I sit because I can't stand you.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.