How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Allouette, gentille allouette!"
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Teacher: stand up if u think u r stupid
After awhile a student stands up.
Teacher: So u think u r stupid
Student: No I'm not stupid I just felt bad because u were standing by ur self.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!đđđđ
Why do French like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donât know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanâs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter âfâ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanâs least favorite song? We are Family.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite tv show? Family Guy.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterâs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itâs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
The W in Africa stands for water.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
why would a dead guy lie?
because he can't stand up
Yo man, stand up
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldnt stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score so I told him to stand up to the anthem
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut
Why canât emos stand in chairs Because they never get down
Why does g-unit and c-unit stands for ?gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit
why didnt the pirate want to play cards? Because was standing on the deck!
