Stand jokes
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
What does NASA stand for? 🍝🧇🍝🧇🍝
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
The "P" in Batman stands for parents.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"