Stand jokes
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Memes
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
The F in orphans stands for family...
The S in America stands for safe.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.