Stand jokes
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.