Sport jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.
I would tell a joke about Kobe, but it wouldn’t really land well.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
"You did great!"
"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"
"Nah, that's okay."
"Here's the quarterback."
"You don't want the quarter?"
"No! Quarterback!"
"Huh?"
(Crashes) (screams)
"Yo, sorry 'bout that."
"You think he's gonna be mad?"
"Who? Baldi?"
"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"
(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
What’s 2 Mexicans playing basketball called?
"Juan on Juan."
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."