Sport jokes
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.