why do midgets giggle when they run? because the grass tickles there balls
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What's the difference between the barracuda car and fish?
The fish can't go fast.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
