What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Speed Jokes
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
