Space jokes
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.