Sound jokes
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
heehee
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
"Baaad boy."
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...