Sound jokes
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.