In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Sound Jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
Poopy loopy.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
