Sound jokes
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.