Sound jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."