How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
