Song jokes

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.

What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!

Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.

Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?

"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.

I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.

"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.

His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

What do Karens do when they have free time?

They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?

Answer: Because he sucks!

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

What's a rapper's favorite drink?

RHYME-A-RITA