Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, what happened
Sometimes i have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell
"IM YOU FROM THE FUTURE"
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.
Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Will just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself... - But? - ...
sometimes when im sad i remember i have a big dick
Sometimes I am happy and there are times I envy my dog š¤§
Are u a rope? Bcs i wanna hang sometimes
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think "I hope you get laid tonight." By a tweaker with AIDS.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.
Neona (š): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (š): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, lets just hugg it out!
Neona (š): Agreed!
Neona (š): Gwen?
Gwen (š): Yes ... what can I do for you?
Neona (š) : You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a lier! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!
Gwen (š): You should have listend. Plus I'm over it!
Neona (š): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (š): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen,
Sometimes I think back on all the people Iāve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and heāll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and heāll be warm for the rest of his life.
You donāt need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Iāll never forget my fatherās last words to me just before he died: āAre you sure you fixed the brakes?ā
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
You know having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says itās my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
*text conversation boy: when you kiss someone you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime? girl: are you saying i'm fat?
sometimes women are like bad snacks people try them and then chucks them in the trash
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
I wrote this joke in the 1970s sometime in Denver, Co CAL - 2021 - Orlando, Fl
