Sometimes Jokes

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time....

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.😐

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that's why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." . Says that little boy: "But mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!"

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok there just telling me to keep myself safe :)

that's it, it wasn't a joke.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine and he said to her ... "Hey baby, we should bang sometime."

sometimes i feel ugly then remember i have a brother then i feel better

Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask. Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

Uma thurmans optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes

2 weeks here

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on and they sometimes choke you.

Sometimes a depressed person antidepression.

pls help my dad is a addict he wont stop and he eats my food. Sometimes i think should i kill him but nah he will go down with the others who did that too.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

you know how sometimes you want to listen to music But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying even if its songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to