Something jokes

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?

"What hap-HENd?"

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

You are quite [something].

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.