Something jokes

Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?

"What hap-HENd?"

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

You are quite [something].

I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.