Something

Something jokes

Prison

    • Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?

    Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.

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    • Rape

    • Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.

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    • Night

    • One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

    I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

    Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

    CEO

    • Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

    I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

    That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!

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    • Something memes

    God

    • Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

    Texter 2: How?

    Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

    Boomer

    • One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

    Owner

    • A fat man coming in the store.

    Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

    Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

    Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

    Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

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    • Mike

    • So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.

    The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."

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    • Atom

    • Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

    An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

    Noose

    • "Do you have a noose?"

    "Nose?"

    "Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

    "I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

    "No."

    *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

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    • Girl

    • Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.

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    • Day

    • One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

    His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

    The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

    One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

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