What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Once my friend was saying something dumb and I was like I Campbell-eve you just said that.
In jail why is the white guy scarier than the black guy. Because the white guy actually did something
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
My balls are high just like the towers but when something impales them they begin sag
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said go look in a mirror. I said thank you.
Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar , '13 pints of water please' he says to the barman 'Oh fuck not you again' barman replies 'You boys are about to see something real special' says Jesus
i hate stairs their always up to something
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
Theirs a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking. At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Where does hitler look first when he loses something? The attic
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in michael Jackson's bed
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
I hit something when i pulled into my driveway. and then i noticed that my cat was missing.
Wanna see something dark
close your eyes
