Something Jokes

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said go look in a mirror. I said thank you.

Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.

Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar , '13 pints of water please' he says to the barman 'Oh fuck not you again' barman replies 'You boys are about to see something real special' says Jesus

2 boys were at a lake and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady, one ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran, the boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, I ran away because I felt something get hard"

what's something a depressed person can do that a regular person cant ? the depressed person can scan them self

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said "It's something that daddy calls mommy" The little girl yells to her brother "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

i hate stairs their always up to something

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot”

Wanna hear a joke,my life hahahah just kidding jokes actually mean something...

My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple...Yass teacher and kid kid: hey teacher: yes kid: would you punish me for something I didn't do? teacher: of course not kid: well I didn't do my homework