Society jokes
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
Religion... That is all.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?
A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.
Bros got barcode arms.
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.