Society jokes
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.