Society jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What would the world be like without women?
A pain in the ass.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
Why is suicide illegal?
Because it destroys government property.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke