If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Society Jokes
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
