Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Racism.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What is the smallest skyscraper in the world? The World Trade Centre.
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
