Smart jokes
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
This explaining bear, lol. Bro acts so smart, but he's just AI, and bro uses the worst nicknames. "Buttercup, sweetheart"... like, SWEETIE, get a life and stop roasting us.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him :)
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"