Smart jokes
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!
Do you know this kind of kid
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.