Smart jokes
I'm so smart, wanna know why? Because you're gay.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.
Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.
PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.
Thank you.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Top G advice: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.