Size

Size jokes

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Weight

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

Nut

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Elephant

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Door

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

Bed

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

Baby

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.