Size jokes
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Your mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his finger, she only lost weight.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her.
A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.
The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.
*Principal:* What is 3+3?
*Boy:* 6.
*Principal:* 6+6.
*Boy:* 12.
The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
*Boy:* Legs.
*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?
*Boy:* Pockets.
*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
*Boy:* Coconut.
*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?
The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge
*Boy:* Bubble gum.
*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
*Boy:* Tent.
*The principal was looking restless*
*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
*Boy:* Wedding ring.
*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
*Boy:* Nose.
*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
*Boy:* Arrow.
*Principal:* O MY GOD.
*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?
*Boy:* Fork.
*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
*Boy:* Surname.
*Principal:* Ohooo !
*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
*Boy:* Heart.
*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.