Size jokes
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.