Size jokes
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Big butt
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.
Your d*** size...
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."