Size jokes
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Big butt
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.