Size jokes
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Big butt
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.
Your d*** size...
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"