Size jokes
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Mine never stops.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Big
Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
Yo mama so fat even Dora can't explore it.
Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
Kyle's penis is small.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.