Size jokes
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.