Size jokes

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

The Earth used to be flat until they buried yo mama.

America get pranked lol.

Biden's penis is probably as big as the Twin Towers right now.

Oh wait...

Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"

Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.

Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.