Size jokes
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!
Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.