Size jokes

Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

Yo forehead so big it receives more than the Pacific Ocean!

How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

Yo mama so fat, when she play a game, everybody lags.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.