Size jokes
Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Yo mama so fat, cow!
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!