Size jokes

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!

Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.

Jacob has a small penis.

No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?

Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

What's big and black?

My balls.

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"