Size jokes

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.