Size jokes
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.