Size jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.

I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.

Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.

Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"